Despite the fact that the technology behind IVF has advanced quite significantly in recent years, many couple will have to manage a failed treatment and may indeed have to manage multiple failed treatments. Going through many cycles of failed IVF treatment can have a devastating impact on any couple and there are certainly many cases where there is no successful outcome at all. In this context, it’s crucial to have some coping strategies in place.
One of the biggest issues is that there is so much information available about how the IVF treatment works but there is not much information on how to deal with a failed treatment. This makes some sense because noone really wants to think about what might happen if the treatment fails but the end result is that many people feel extremely anxious when there is a failure.
The Emotional Rollercoaster
Preparing for and going through IVF treatment is a huge emotional rollercoaster. Apart from the costs involved, there are so many big decisions to be made. For many people, IVF treatment is about much more than the process. It is about telling friends and family and trying to find good emotional support. Imagine, then, the agony that a person will undoubtedly feel if there is an unsuccessful outcome of the IVF treatment.
The good news is there are certainly some strategies that anyone can put in place to cope better with failure. Whether it’s the end of the IVF road or a series of failures, here are some methods of coping:
- Blame Doesn’t Help
When there has been a failed treatment or multiple failed treatments, it’s very easy to blame someone else. In fact, it’s very common for the clinic to be blamed first of all; many people find themselves trying to find holes in the process so that they can feel vindicated.
It’s also very common for a woman to blame herself. She might try to think back on whether she did anything wrong, such as eating the wrong foods. This might turn into blaming the partner too and causing even more grief and heartache.
The thing is this: blame doesn’t solve anything. It only adds problems to what is already a highly emotional and difficult personal situation. This sort of blame and anger will simply make everyone feel much worse and will cause even more emotional devastation and anxiety. It will also not allow anyone in this situation to focus on what really matters.
Ultimately, IVF treatment carries no guarantees and sometimes we need to accept that what we had hoped for may never be. There is life outside of IVF treatment in Bangkok and stoking the fires of blame will only blind a person from seeing these things. It’s better to drop the blame, find other things to focus on, and move on with life.
- The Next Appointment Is Important
After a failed attempt, many people will feel that they simply can’t even contemplate doing another cycle. This is when it’s important to focus on the benefit of the follow-up appointment.
If there has been a failure, a clinic will typically schedule a follow-up appointment where options can be discussed and a fresh cycle is offered. The appointment is also important in terms of talking about what might have gone wrong and where it might be improved.
- Remain Positive and Focus on the Good Things
Even though a failure can be a devastating outcome because of the weight of expectations, there are usually good things to focus on. For example, many women do experience successful egg implantation despite the fact that it might fail. The good news here is that the woman is physically capable of getting pregnant. Surely this is a good thing to focus on.
4.Healing Time Is Also Important
Sometimes it’s just really important to find time to heal after a failed IVF cycle. It’s natural to feel grief and go through a process of mourning when IVF doesn’t work out. Taking time off work and taking time to heal before the next cycle is important and can make coping easier.
During this time, it’s also important to focus on the moment and do normal things. This can help to ease the emotional pain and shift the focus to normal everyday things in life. This can also help to gather strength for the next round of IVF if there is to be one.
5.Talk to a Local Doctor
Many people going through IVF neglect to keep on talking to their local doctors. They tend to deal almost exclusively with the clinic and this can blind them to other options.
It’s helpful to maintain contact and regular appointments with a local doctor. He or she may be able to suggest lifestyle changes that could help during the next cycle or suggest ways of coping. This is also a good way to ensure that the fertility clinic doesn’t just become the sole focus.
6.Counseling Can Really Help
Professional counseling can help at all stages of IVF treatment and many couples find that it helps them to decide whether to go ahead with it or not. It can also be incredibly helpful to gain other perspectives when failure has happened and this is where a counselor can be invaluable.
7.Remember Your Relationship
Anyone in a relationship going through IVF will relate to the emotional pain that usually happens after a failed cycle. Grief can quickly turn into blame and anger. This can have a devastating impact on any couple and it is also a reason why so many couples split up.
Even though the grief and strain may be great during this time, it’s also important for every couple to focus on the pain of the other. There is more to life than having a baby and it’s wise to remember where it all began: with a loving relationship. Simply sitting down and talking about it can make all of the difference.